


Are We Still Friends?

by weeklyslap



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Album Study, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Musician Akira Kurusu/Persona 5 Protagonist, Alternate Universe - No Metaverse (Persona 5), Alternate Universe - No Personas (Persona Series), Angst and Drama, Complicated Relationships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gen, Indie Music, Inspired by Music, Jazz - Freeform, M/M, Musicians, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Discussions, Road Trips, anyway heres my interpretation of igor. take it (gives i to you), is album study a real tag???, relationships are really conflicting and emotionally demanding: totally not speaking from experience, this was prompted by a breakdown from listening to igor by tyler the creator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weeklyslap/pseuds/weeklyslap
Summary: Goro Akechi is the ex-boyfriend of indie pop idol Akira Kurusu, who is rising to popularity all across Japan. Akira’s music agency puts out a notice for anyone willing to become one of their artists’ managers, since their last one quit. Goro takes the job, but is shocked when his new client is (actually) Akira. They have to suffer through what feels like hell: travelling together 24/7 as Akira goes on tour throughout Japan. Thrust into a world of deceit, heartbreak and the feeling of falling in love, two ex-lovers begin to bond over their hatred, but are scared of what it may become.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 18
Kudos: 53





	1. igor's theme

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my new fic!!
> 
> are we still friends is the result of a lot of hardships on my end. this work is very personal to me, and ive spent a lot of time writing and perfecting it, so i hope youll like it too. updates will be... occasional, but there's no set schedule yet. 
> 
> follow my twitter for new updates: ourllght  
> and here's the spotify playlist that works alongside this fic, 4 new songs are added everytime a new chapter gets updated: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QEcZfOjaI3Oo8cRzVuAvO?si=ZYQ8Y5z1TyO1od9be6k0TQ

It’s for reasons like this that Goro Akechi hates summer.

Although exhausting, college was the one thing that kept him going through the year. This is the fifth time he’s cycled down the road in Kichijoji, and the people he sees in every trip are all different. To his left, there are a few young women (he’s presuming in college, just like him) with bags of clothes in their hands. To his right, there's an array of shops and businesses, some even having lines to get in. Behind him, there're a few more cyclists that are taking their time and embracing the scenery while he thoroughly analyzes it.

And ahead of him? He doesn’t know what’s ahead of him.

There're more people walking ahead, but he doesn’t know what’s to come ahead. Ever since he started college, every single summer has felt the same. There’s a longing to do something more than what he’s used to, but he always spends those free months of summer vacation inside his apartment, doing nothing remotely different from what he usually does during the rest of the year. He finished every book in his reading list, and doesn’t have the funds to continue his membership at the local rock climbing spot. 

For Goro, it’s easier to relax rather than find a stable job. It’s also easier to ride down the main streets of Kichijoji five consecutive times. It was also easier to take the school-supplied internship at some prestigious business firm, but the school season is over. Summer is never easy.

The thought of having an actual job sounded like heaven on Earth: moreover, the thought of having money that he could use for things other than just food and hair care products sounded like heaven on Earth. He could stop going to the library 24/7, or finally get a new bicycle. He’s been riding around on the same red bike (which was faded to a harsh gray, at this point) since high school. Although he felt childish riding to a lecture on an old bike, he can’t actually get rid of it. He’s been pretty adamant about keeping it, always making sure to praise how it still worked after all these years- how it still manages to hold him up.

Goro can’t find it within himself to say goodbye to this specific bicycle. It’s kept him sane since high school, the worn-out stickers and dents only proving how authentic yet worn out it was. He’s given a multitude of rides to a multitude of people on this bike, and the memories he holds with it makes it quite literally impossible to let go. He began to move his legs once again, the cyclists behind him moving to his right, then completely disappearing as they traveled down another route. Goro sighed as he kept on riding down the road, less and less people accompanying it. 

There was still an array of shops and businesses on this road, just like in the other parts of Kichijoji. There was just the right amount of plant life on the street, Goro watching as the dandelions poking out of the cracked pavement below him swayed gently in the summer breeze. He saw a stray cat perching on top of one of the small restaurants in the area, stretching its body carefully. As he continued to admire this sweet serenity that filled the area, the more he began to embrace the lack of people. Maybe he’d come by here more often, as it didn’t seem too crowded or too void of life- which is just how Goro likes his atmospheres.  
The longer he seemed to admire the scenery, though, the more nervous he felt. It was definitely more peaceful on this new, empty road than it was in the campus life of Kichijoji, but the lack of people made him a lot more alert, and the overall feeling in the area made him cautious--

He yelped as the front wheel of his bike hit a rock in the sidewalk, losing control of the vehicle under him. He let go of the handles, the frontal part of the bike twisting out from under him. The bicycle gave out a piercing screech as it scraped against the sidewalk, Goro falling onto his side due to the lack of stability. He tried reaching onto the railings of the local businesses on the road, his fingers grasping onto nothing more than a sheet of paper. The sheet seemed to follow him through the wind as he continued to roll down the sidewalk, his bike falling behind him. The two eventually collided, which thankfully put a stop to the painful, gutwrenching, and extremely embarrassing showcase of him falling off his bike. 

He laid on his back at the smooth part of the empty road, his bike falling on top of him. One of the handles was missing, and both wheels were torn. There was a painful sting when he went to reach for his bike, flipping his hands to reveal burning red scrapes, with a few small pebbles stuck to his hands. His legs were trapped under the weight of both embarrassment and his bike, and he felt like he had broken all of his bones. His entire body felt sore as he let his head lay motionless on the ground, closing his eyes.

What was not expected, though, was for something else to come his way.

A smooth, white sheet of paper landed directly on Goro’s face. The boy hissed as he briefly opened his eyes to examine what exactly was happening, his expression turning into one of curiosity as he questioned the purpose of the paper. He reached for the sheet on his face, his eyes scanning through the words printed on the front.

‘Help Wanted - Open Position For Head Marketer/Manager of One of Our Artists!’

Help wanted.

Job.

He reread the words in front of him countless times again, sure that he was reading something wrong. On his fifth read through, they still needed help, and he fit the right qualifications. Although barely meeting the regulations, a job was still a job, and this was a job that paid damn well. He held the sheet of paper in his hands, looking at the gentle blue sky above him. His body ached with every move he made, and his bike pressing down onto him isn't helping. He should be leaving before someone notices. 

But he can take his time. 

The head marketer and manager of a musician? Goro chuckled to himself as he read it again, shaking his head as he finally let his arm rest. It felt all too coincidental that he got this notice while he sits with an aching body and a broken bike, but the good type of coincidence. A job, and now a new bike, is just what he needs- and maybe this is what his summer has been lacking. Goro thinks about the opportunity to manage a musician- that's already much more lively than rereading mediocre books from the depths of his bookshelves. Goro thinks about all the positives and negatives- the good and bad things that might happen. But even after breaking his bike and tumbling down a steep road, how can it get any worse?

Goro stops to think about that question- and he hopes he doesn't have to answer it.

-

The ravenette catches himself drifting to sleep before someone else does. It’s good that he notices this, because now he’s become the center of discussion between the two other businessmen in the room. 

“Oh, Kurusu-kun, aren’t you excited to meet your new manager?”

Akira’s eyes darted up to his boss who stood patiently in front of him. He sighed as he slouched in the armchair, shaking his head as he shifted his attention to his watch. Earlier this week, he was called into a meeting with the company representative and his boss to discuss ‘changes to the system’. After essentially begging to find out why he was called in for a meeting, it was revealed he would be meeting his new manager. And honestly? Akira couldn’t care less. He was told the meeting would be at 10:30 AM, on the dot. A half-hour later, and they had finished their morning coffee with no sign of this supposed new manager.

“I don’t need someone who can’t even arrive on time to look after me. I’m fine on my own, I can promise you that.” He assured, the businessmen looking at each other following Akira’s comment. “You’re an adult- we aren’t calling you anything less. But, now that you’re going on tour, it’ll be beneficial for your health and performance as an artist that you’re traveling with someone who can look after you.” His boss murmured, looking out the windows behind Akira to see if there was any sign of this new manager.

The boy scoffed as he listened to the man speak, nodding in accordance with his words. “Someone who can look after me… how old did you say he was?” He prompted, his boss looking at the other man in the room. “He’s around your age. He’s still a junior, but he has a lot of career experience. We wanted to pick someone we thought you could tolerate, maybe even potentially get along with.” The man said, looking at his boss for confirmation on the situation. The older man sighed as he got a feel of Akira’s frustration, placing his hands on his hips. “We know how independent you strive to be. We wouldn’t match you with someone we think wouldn’t be a good fit for you.” 

Akira sighed as he looked directly at his boss, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t get him yelled at. “If you know how independent I strive to be, you wouldn’t give me a manager in the first place! Ever since I started my career I’ve been a soloist, and I have done fine on my own…” He trailed off as he saw his boss look away from him, walking towards the glass wall behind Akira. The ravenette kept his eyes on the elder to figure out why they weren’t looking at him anymore, unsure of what was going on. He heard the business representative wheeze, knocking on the glass. “Look, boss! New guy came in… on a bicycle! A wimpy red bicycle!” He leaned over to catch his breath, laughing as he saw the boy on his bike drive through the luxury filled parking lot. 

Akira’s eyes widened at the description of the bicycle, his body turning to look out the glass wall behind him. He narrowed his eyes to try and get a clear image of who was on the bike, too far away to see anything. He kept his eyes fixed on the boy riding through the parking lot, his bike coming to a sudden stop. He felt his heart stop alongside the bicycle, the boy getting off his bike and locking it to a bike rack by the entrance.

Maybe he was just overthinking the situation: maybe this isn’t even someone of concern. Maybe the tie between the rusty red bike and the caramel-haired boy driving it was just a disgusting coincidence; one that made him sick to his stomach. Akira looked at his boss, masking his anxiety with a blunt expression. “How would a junior in college have met all of the requirements for a job of this altitude?” The ravenette murmured, his boss gazing down at him. There had to be some experience that made him ‘too good for the job’, aside from what the businessmen had told him before. Worst case scenario, he’s some high school honor kid. Even worse, he’s someone he knows.

“Oh, he’s very gifted. He graduated top of his class in high school and was head of the student council. During his freshman and sophomore years of college, he did internships at a few big business firms.” His boss stated, his hand messing with Akira’s hair. “Don’t worry, Kurusu-kun, I would never jeopardize your safety. He’s someone you can trust.”

If his hypothesis is correct, then absolutely fucking not. No. He is definitely not someone Akira can trust. Not in the slightest. He slouched in the armchair, his boss standing by his chair alongside the representative. The trio hesitantly awaited the arrival of this new manager, Akira’s fingers tapping along the edge of the table in front of him. 

Down the corridor, Akira heard the beep of an elevator. He heard a small ‘shit’, followed by an even smaller ‘fuck’, the sound of heels clicking against the floor heard throughout the halls. Akira felt his heart beat faster and faster against his chest as the sounds got closer, feeling the hand on his shoulder fall away, his boss walking towards the door. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. 

He saw a figure at the door, his head tilted downwards. He wasn’t able to see who was at the entrance, but he didn’t want to look up to begin with. 

Akira slowly lifted his head, wide eyes looking at the boy in front of him. 

It couldn’t be.

Everything his boss had said just sounded like a cruel coincidence, one that he had desperately tried to push out of his head. He hoped the bicycle was just another one of those coincidences, but as he examined the structure of the boy in front of him, it didn’t seem like another coincidence. The hair was definitely longer than he remembered, and he had actual ear piercings now. His style had gotten a lot nicer, but still held that studious charm he sported so naturally all those years ago. He had gotten taller, regardless of the heeled shoes he wore, and he seemed to have gained a few more muscles, in comparison to the puny highschooler he once was. 

Akira looked down at his own body, then back up at the boy. 

As their eyes met, Akira realized his ex-lover’s eyes were as sharp as ever.

Akira froze in his seat, the boy in front of him gazing at the ravenette with piercing red eyes. He watched as his manager’s eyes widened at the sudden contact, the two of them too focused on each other to think about how to proceed any further. He saw the boy’s posture shift slightly, standing with his shoulders firm and back straight.

And to be honest, Akira knew from the moment he saw the red bicycle in the parking lot that this meeting wouldn’t turn out well. 

“Kurusu-kun, I present to you… your new manager, Goro Akechi!” 

Akira felt his heart slow down, his position in the chair slouched, in comparison to his ex-boyfriend who stood proudly across the room. “Well, now I don’t have the honor of introducing myself to my client…” Goro murmured, a bright expression on his face as he spoke to the boss. Akira watched as his boss laughed, shaking hands with Goro. “It’s a pleasure to have you on the team. We’re very honored to have someone as skilled as you working with one of our clients,” Akira rolled his eyes as he crossed his legs, running a shaky hand through his hair. 

“Come on, introduce yourselves!” His boss murmured, Akira gazing up at Goro, whose smile faded into a more pensive expression. He watched as the brunette walked closer and closer, standing right in front of him across the table. The boy stuck his hand out, Akira frozen in thought. Bottling up his emotions had always helped him- and Akira was going to make sure it helped him now. 

The ravenette’s hand felt heavy as he lifted it from his lap, staring at Goro with eyes that were sharper than knives. He grasped onto Goro’s hand, the two not looking away from each other. The brunette’s hands felt quite soft, which made Akira think about his own rough hands. The ring on Goro’s finger dug into his skin from how hard he was holding on, Akira pressing his thumb into Goro’s skin to mock the effect. Goro’s eyebrows furrowed as he shook Akira’s hand firmly, pulling away almost immediately after. Akira kept his hand raised until he realized there was no one holding it anymore, quietly folding his hands together under the table. 

“Nice to see you, Kurusu.”

Akira gave a crooked smile, a somber expression hidden on his face. 

“The pleasure is mine, Akechi.”

The two smiled in silence, Akira’s boss and the business representative looking at each other, then shifting their attention to Akira, then to the brunette who stood across from him. 

“Do you… know him?” His boss asked Goro, the brunette giving a small giggle. He looked at Akira briefly before turning to face his new boss, placing his hands on his sides.

“Oh, don’t be mistaken.” He sighed, “this is our first time meeting.”

Akira’s eyes widened at his words, while his boss smiled at the assurance. He watched as Goro sighed, his boss nodding in response. He turned to look at Akira, who was holding his breath out of fear. “Well, it seems like you’ll get along fine. You’re in good hands, respectively- you both hold traits that work well together.” Goro smiled, a light blush coating his cheeks. Akira found himself looking at the brunette, his lips parted as he watched Goro’s eyes crinkle as he laughed, his body swaying slightly. 

He seemed to fit in perfectly amongst the group of businessmen, Akira pulling down his rolled-up sleeves and pushing in his chair, closer to the table as he watched Goro articulate carefully through his conversation.

What the fuck is he doing? What the fuck are they doing?

“Oh, is that so?” Goro turned to look at Akira, who froze upon making eye contact with Goro. “Well. I’ll make sure he doesn't mess anything up, alright?” He murmured, his boss nodding as he rubbed Goro’s shoulder. “And that’s especially necessary now that you guys are going on tour! I have faith that you’ll do well.” 

Akira gazed at Goro, who seemed frozen in place. He nodded slowly as he processed the situation, forcing a smile back on his lips. Akira was shocked at how easy it was for Goro to fool everyone around him with a pleasant smile and posture- he hated how he could so easily mask his emotions. He was also shocked at the fact he forgot the most important part about getting a new manager, the part that scared him the most…

He would be going on tour with his manager. With Goro Akechi.

“You’ll have to meet up sometime soon to discuss travel plans. Preferably, tonight would be great. The earlier the better, right?” Their boss laughed, Goro and Akira sharing a nervous look at each other. They soon began to laugh quietly, not breaking eye contact. Goro’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Akira, the ravenette rolling his eyes as he shrugged. The brunette turned to look at the other businessmen in the room, giving a warm smile. 

“Well, it was a pleasure meeting you all. I’ll make an arrangement at a local establishment to discuss tour plans with my client.” Goro shifted his attention back to Akira, who seemed uneasy as he awaited Goro’s next move. “Would you be so kind as to join me later tonight?” He murmured, placing his hands behind his back. 

Akira sighed, all of the tension and pressure on his shoulders and spine alleviated. “Of course.” He whispered, Goro nodding as he kept his posture firm. “I look forward to meeting with you.”

The pair watched carefully as the other businessmen left the room, Goro ushering them out with a carefully crafted smile on his lips. He looked down the hall to make sure they had left, taking a deep breath of pure relief. He stood against the door, glad he didn't have to be so cunningly fake anymore. The brunette placed his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave. 

“Wait, Goro,”

The brunette spun around, the pure expression on his face distorting into a more neutral one. “Who are you calling Goro?” He murmured, Akira looking down as he realized his error. 

The two stood quietly, Akira sighing as he scratched his neck. Goro seemed pensive as he looked around the room, keeping his hand on the doorknob. Akira tapped his fingers on the table, trying to think of a solid way to phrase what he wanted to say.

“...Why are you here?”

Goro scoffed, opening the door quietly. He turned away from Akira, shaking his head. He kept one foot outside the door which allowed it to stay open, the light from outside peeking into the room.

“I look forward to meeting you. Later.” He hissed, walking out the door and shutting it fully.

The ravenette sat in silence as he heard the clicks of the heels pour from down the hall until they had finally disappeared. His posture slouched into a more comfortable position, yet his body ached of stress and anxiety. He placed his head on the table, his hands draped over his head.

-

The atmosphere in the jazz club was soothing, the gentle warmth from the fairy lights that were overhead helping him think about his situation. The singer stood proudly on the podium, one gloved hand on the microphone while another one held onto the stand. The lights showcased her and her ability to the rest of the customers inside, with even the bartenders enthralled by her appearance. 

Across the table, the ravenette had quietly stirred his drink, watching the bubbles fizz to the top of the glass. Goro cleared his throat, taking a sip of his own drink. Akira looked up at Goro, the brunette soon meeting his eyes. The two looked at each other with sharp eyes, placing their drinks on the table. The singer kept on singing her song passionately, gentle with her tone but strong with her words. 

“Why are you here?” Akira asked threateningly, Goro gazing down at him. He raised his glass to his lips again, shaking his head. “You think I wanted to get in touch with you again after our falling out? I’d rather crumple up and pass away.” Goro hissed, Akira sighing as he mock chuckled to show his frustration. “Well, I would have preferred the latter.” Akira murmured, a faux smile on his lips. “I’d bring Begonias to your funeral. Your favorite.” Goro brought his fist down on the table, the glasses of drinks clinking together before falling back into place. 

The pair felt eyes all over them, the singer even jumping at the action. Goro looked around the room, then finally at Akira, who sat patiently in front of him. 

“Are you done?”

Goro sighed, running a cold hand through his hair. 

“Yeah. For now.”

Akira coldly smiled, drinking from the glass in his hand. He watched as Goro leaned away from the table, reaching for a small briefcase with the letter ‘A’ engraved in the front. It was made from rich, black leather, but the engraving was sewed from white string. Akira gawked at the appearance of the briefcase, his mouth agape, in the form of a smile. “No way you're that fucking egoistic that you get your initial engraved on a briefcase.” He murmured, Goro rolling his eyes as he placed the item on the table. He moved his drink to the side as he unclipped the briefcase, opening it to bring out a notepad and a jet black pen.

He slid his briefcase off the table before uncapping his pen, flipping to a new page in his notepad before entirely facing Akira. He crossed his leg over his other leg, sighing as he gazed at the ravenette sitting across from him. 

Goro sighed while straightening his posture, his spine against the back of his chair. “So. Tour.” He murmured, quietly enough so that he wouldn't be an annoyance to anyone trying to enjoy the jazz inside the club. The singer in the front had started singing a new song- one that was more melancholic than the last. It was slower, but just as passionate as the song that had been sung before. 

“What about the tour?” Akira sighed, taking a long sip of his drink. Goro began to write in his notepad, scribbling something out. He seemed focused on what he was writing, Akira noticing that he was doing more scratching out than writing. He reached for Goro's notepad, the pen in his hand dropping onto the table. Akira kept the pad in his hand as he read over what had been written, his eyebrows furrowing as he narrowed his eyes to properly read between the scribbles.

“Plane? Camper van? Are you seriously planning on our methods of transportation?” Akira hissed, pushing the notepad back to Goro. The brunette scoffed at the action, taking the pad back into his own hands. “What, did you expect this to be a date? We’re businessmen. I have no intention of speaking to you for reasons other than matters that impact our careers. Isn't that what you want?” Goro coldly murmured, continuing to write potential travel methods in his notepad. 

Akira looked down at the table, thinking about Goro’s words. “You’re right,” He sighed, reaching for his glass only to realize he had already finished his drink. “However, don't you think we’re going too fast into this?” Goro looked up from his writing, shaking his head in response. “No, I don't think we’re going too fast.” He murmured, continuing to create and arrange plans for the tour. “Listen, G--” The brunette’s attention went to Akira almost immediately after the error, Akira nervously laughing as he picked up his empty glass. “Akechi. Boss. The tour doesn't start for another few days.” Goro didn't seem phased by the statement, continuing to write in his notepad.

“Here’s what this sounds like to me,” Goro began to speak, reaching for his drink. He held it carefully in his hands, watching the red liquid inside the glass splash around. “It sounds like you don't want to talk about the tour. If anything, you want to talk about everything but the tour.” The brunette murmured, Akira unable to respond truthfully. “Anyhow, the tour doesn’t start today, but it starts soon. I don’t want this being like high school where you waited until the last minute to do all your shit.”

Akira’s eyebrows furrowed at his words, tilting his head slightly in confusion. “I thought you didn’t care about what I did.” He prompted, Goro smiling as he nodded. “I don’t. Not in the slightest, actually.” Akira mocked a frown as he pressed a hand to his chest, mumbling a small ‘ouch, my heart’ in response to Goro’s words. “If this tour fails, my name is attached to yours now. Whatever problem your fans might have, I’ll have to deal with all of it. And to be honest, Akira? I don’t want to clean up all of your messes. So, can we at least discuss our method of transportation?” Goro sighed, Akira eyeing him with a sharp gaze. The brunette seemed patient enough to try and work with him, but he could tell the anger he was holding was starting to get the best of him.

“Okay,” Akira began, “okay. You wanna do planes, or trains?” Goro’s eyes widened at Akira’s response, laughing out of shock. “The budget they gave me is a lot smaller than plane rides to every tour location. I was thinking… camper van?” Goro suggested, Akira’s eyes widening at the thought of a camper van. A camper van meant a private space, and a private space with his manager meant they would always be in contact:

A camper van meant his entire tour would be spent with Goro Akechi.

“No.” Akira strictly said, Goro dropping his pen out of shock. “What do you mean no? No tour, no van? Do you want a fucking private jet? I mean, you can dream of it- but it’s not going to happen.” The brunette affirmed, reaching for his pen. “And to be honest, a camper van works out better for us.” 

“What about gas?” Akira smirked, Goro shaking his head.

“That’s covered. It’s not coming out of my wallet, everything else is. Your corporation guidelines say so, and unlike some people, I read the fine print.”

Akira scoffed, looking away. “And where will you get the van?”

Goro’s smile had turned into a smirk, capping his pen and flipping his notepad closed. “That’s also enclosed in the budget. It’ll come with a shower, toilet, and even a working stove!” He chuckled, watching as Akira’s face distorted into a more neutral expression. “Wow. How exciting. I can't wait to use my mobile stove.” Akira bluntly stated, Goro placing his materials back in his briefcase. 

The ravenette’s eyebrows furrowed the more he thought about the situation, blocking out the background noise from the club to better solve the situation. “You’re speaking as if you've already planned this out.” Akira murmured, Goro nodding. He widened his eyes as he watched Goro smile, briefcase in hand. “If you had everything planned out, why did we meet here to begin with?!” Goro couldn't help but be pleased at how exasperated the boy across the table seemed, placing his hands in his lap. “I had to make sure we were on the same page. The only transportation options we had available to us was a car, but I can't live like that. It’s also apart of my job to confirm everything with you, so let me ask you again,”

Goro stood up from his chair, pushing the seating into the table. 

“Are you okay with a camper van? I’ll need to make arrangements.” He murmured, Akira rolling his eyes as he looked up at the brunette next to him. The way that Goro had carried himself so casually into a new branch of business, moreover, a new business entirely, had pushed Akira the wrong way. Goro was too good at his job- he was the ideal manager. He hated the confidence that was hidden in his smirk, and the fact he brought a notepad to their first meeting. 

He hated him.

“Yes, I am okay with a camper van.”

Goro held his briefcase sternly, Akira staying seated. “Pleasure meeting with you, Kurusu.” 

Akira watched as Goro had left the jazz club, gagging at how confident he was, even in his walk. His hair had carried a light bob, and the pride he had in his stride was painful to look at. He gazed down at his empty glass, turning his body to fully face the singer behind him.

The jazz club was peaceful. Relaxing. A soothing spot for individuals who need a break from heavy, stressful everyday life.

So why did Akira feel so anxious?

-

The moment Goro got back home to his apartment, he passed out on the floor. 

Laying on the cold wood of his apartment floor felt infinitely times better than having to smile his way through a heated conversation with none other than Akira Kurusu. 

Goro had just only started to process what had happened earlier that day- the meeting, the second meeting, meetings in general: and he hated remembering every single bit of it. He doesn't remember leaving the curtains open, but the moonlight shining down on his body was more soothing than it was a bother. Thinking back to his first meeting, he hated the way the businessmen in the room looked at him and Akira like they would get along. The way they thought this would be something other than just purely business had annoyed him even after the meeting.

During the interview for the position he has now, it was never stated who he would be working with. Hell, he doesn't even know how long the tour is. Despite praising to Akira how he always reads the fine print, he managed to miss the part in his contract that said he isn't allowed to leave this far into his job. Even if he did want to leave Akira alone for good and miss out on this “Incredible opportunity”, it's not possible until after the tour is over. 

Goro dug himself a grave, and all that was left was to jump right in.

He might as well get comfy in this makeshift grave on his apartment floor, because oh no, now he’s taking out his phone. The satisfaction of being able to close his door and take off his masks was one thing, but laying on the floor and going on his phone? That was peak satisfaction. And for Goro, it should have been satisfactory to be able to lay on his apartment floor and take in the world around him without having to move at all, but now that he’s Akira Kurusu’s manager, he’ll always be on the move.

This, in theory, was his last time of peace on his apartment floor. For what feels like a really, really long time.

He sighed as he unlocked his phone, the brightness of the screen causing him to flinch. He clicked his tongue while lowering the brightness, eyes sore from the bright lights of his screen. He opened up his social media, scrolling through mindless posts from models and businessmen he follows. His page isn't all that special, either: occasionally he’ll post photos of himself in outfits he likes, and occasionally he’ll write lengthy book reviews for pieces of literature people either haven't read or don't care about.

This begs the question- what kind of content does Akira Kurusu post?

Goro sighed while holding his phone over his face, closing his eyes as he thought about the situation. He isn't curious as to what Akira posts, or even what his life is like as a popular musician- since Goro is now his newly established manager, it's crucial that he looks at his social media profiles. For his well being as an artist.

Goro groaned as he opened his eyes, trying not to think too hard about the situation. He tried to remember the last handle Akira had used online, unsure if it’s changed or stayed the same since he last checked all those years ago. He had swiped through numerous accounts that all shared names with Akira, stopping when he finally found the real account. He kept his thumbs floating over the screen, his arms starting to hurt from holding up his phone for so long.

Upon clicking on his page, he was met with an endless amount of photos ranging from shots of his concerts to selfies. Goro’s eyes widened as he saw Akira’s duality within the photos- one picture of him being soft and gentle, while the other was a lot more lively and harsh. He couldn't help but scoff at the smirk on Akira’s face while he stood proudly on stage, a red electric guitar in hand and the microphone in his other. He was sporting blonde hair at the time, which Goro didn't want to even talk about. 

Up until today, he had forgotten that major piece of information: the fact that Akira was a musician.

Throughout high school, he remembers accompanying Akira after school to his practices, loosely playing the instruments he left behind. He’d go record shopping with him, and biking through the town (Goro biked, but Akira had used a skateboard). The idea of them in high school sounded a lot more pleasant than them after high school, but thinking about the past was his specialty. Especially after seeing Akira hold his boyish charisma from high school to these lengths of his career, and seeing those records they bought together and the skateboard he rode in high school mantled up on his wall in the photos.

Ever since they had broken up, Goro decided he wouldn't pay attention to anything concerning Akira. The brunette didn't even know Akira was signed to such a big company or was even considering a national tour in the first place. He kept his phone rested in his hand, letting his arm rest by placing his phone down on his chest. The thought that Akira was picked up by such a mainstream yet large record label just goes to show how successful he's become over the years, and how Goro has managed to stay true to his words by not engaging with anything about Akira. 

He lifted his phone again, a red spot on his screen distracting him from the images he was viewing.

He liked the photo.

Akira was blonde in this photo. 

The last time Akira was blonde was two years ago.

Goro Akechi liked a photo from two years ago.

The brunette felt his face heat up, fingers scrambling to unlike, accidentally liking again. He gave a flustered squeak, finally catching himself before he messed up any further by unliking the photo. He rested his phone down on his beating chest, resting his head on the floor before finally being able to relax.

Why was it that as soon as he took this job, his entire life has suddenly become more chaotic? 

His eyes widen as he feels a vibration on his chest, his hand slowly lifting to pick up his phone. He was getting…

a call?

He answered the phone reluctantly, holding it over his chest rather than to his ear. “Hello?” He huskily said, clearing his throat while blocking the microphone of his phone. “I didn't think you would actually pick up,” A cold voice said on the other line, Goro’s body jolting upwards. He crossed his legs and leaned forward, holding his phone to his ear with his eyebrows furrowed. “How’d you get this number?”

Goro could almost hear the grin Akira had on his face through his tone, rolling his eyes as he listened to the ravenette hum. “I keep a phone book. Do you do have one?” Goro scoffed at his words, rubbing the tip of his finger against the floor as he listened to Akira. “You're infuriating. I’m referring to why you kept my number. Aren't I taking up space in your phone book? You don't keep one, by the way,” Goro murmured, Akira chuckling in response. “You don't know shit about me, by the way.” 

Goro sat in silence, the lack of words between them following Akira’s comment more unsettling than it was peaceful. 

“Anywho,” Akira casually spoke up, Goro glad the ravenette couldn't see his visual confusion, “I saw that you liked a certain post of mine. Do you like blondies?” He jokingly said, Goro mumbling a small ‘ew’ under his breath. “Nothing against blondies, I just hate you.” Goro swiftly responded, hearing Akira hum in response. “That’s not what user ‘fthrmngoro’ said. Said quite the opposite, actually. So, should I go back to blonde?” Akira asked, Goro switching his phone to his other hand to rest his tired arm. “I think you should shut up,” Goro spoke up, lifting his head to properly look at the moonlight that lit up his apartment. 

“We have a lot more to talk about. No shutting up for now.” Akira prompted, Goro’s eyebrows furrowing as he listened closely. “What more do we have to discuss? This is a strictly business relationship, in case you forgot.” Goro murmured, Akira laughing to himself on the other line. “I thought a lot about what you told me at the jazz club and had a whole self-reflection break. I have a feeling we’ll both be miserable on this tour if we don't at least try to get along, you know? I don't want to spend this entire tour the way I felt at the jazz club. Not really as friends, but it wouldn't hurt to catch up. Being neutral is better than being complete enemies.” 

Goro felt himself overthinking the situation the more Akira spoke, his heart beating faster as he thought about all the potential outcomes. The idea of befriending Akira, moreover just getting in contact with him on levels that don't include business was unsettling for him. His body started to gently away as he tried to dissect the situation, reassuring himself that everything would be okay, and one meeting with his ex-lover and new client wouldn't be so bad. It's just… for the sake of business.

“How about this,” Akira began to speak, Goro’s eyes widening as he had completely forgotten about the voice on the line. “We’re meeting two days from now since that's when you arranged the meeting and moving into the camper van. Since that's at noon, maybe… wanna meet up for breakfast beforehand? There's a diner I think we could go to. Only if you want! It's… for business.” 

Goro sighed at how well Akira was able to speak to him. Straight to the point, gentle with wording, but still saying everything that was on his mind.

“You don't have to make a decision right now, since I know you have manager paperwork to do. I’ll send you the directions and whether or not you show up will tell me how this tour is bound to go.” Akira planned, Goro’s brain trying to process everything that was happening. “And as a young businessman once said, pleasure meeting with you.” 

Goro kept holding the phone in his hands, even after Akira had hung up. 

He felt his heart split into half, his brain trying to decide whether or not meeting with Akira was a good idea. He felt himself curl up into a ball, laying down on the cold wood of his apartment floor again. All that had circled his mind that day was Akira, and things related to Akira- and he hated every single thought he had. Why did he want to meet with Akira? What were the benefits? The last time he had embarked on a relationship with the ravenette it…

This is a strictly business relationship. Why is he so nervous?

Goro took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He could stand up and go to bed, but laying on the floor was definitely easier and more soothing. The moonlight from outside his window cradled him gently as he tried to calm himself down, deciding he would make a choice sometime soon. 

The more he thought about it, taking this job as a manager might have been more a curse than a blessing.


	2. earfquake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh to be stuck in a camper van with your ex boyfriend who writes lovelorn albums about you
> 
> and earfquake IS SUPPOSED TO BE SPELT LIKE THAT . the chapters are igor songs in case you have noticed
> 
> also, here's the updated spotify playlist: all the songs are on here https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QEcZfOjaI3Oo8cRzVuAvO?si=8TPLWhs6S2KJ2OjsIRAG8w

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa mama talk about guilt

The smell of vanilla was present in the air, but so was the sense of anxiety.

As the brunette looked at everything but the boy in front of him, he realized how enamored he was with this building. This diner felt like home to him; and ignoring the fact that it was down the street from both his apartment and university, whenever he sat in the plush cushioned chairs of the establishment he always managed to feel comfortable. And whether he was studying, eating or simply taking a break, the plastered posters for sports and parties on the walls and dim fairy lights that hung from the ceiling never failed to make him feel safe and secure. 

Yet, that feeling of being safe and secure was quickly taken away from him.

“So, do you study here?”

Goro’s eyes widened as he looked back at Akira, who calmly drank his coffee. “Excuse me?” The brunette softly asked, Akira chuckling as he held his drink in his hand. “I saw this school’s emblem printed on the pages of your notepad the other day. You’re in junior year already?” Akira murmured, Goro unsure of how to properly phrase his words. Should he say something small? Should he say something long? Should he say something honest- should he say anything at all? He felt Akira’s eyes on him, the brunette forcing a small smile on his lips as he thought about how to proceed with such a conversation.

“That’s right. Junior year.” Goro quickly said, his heart thumping even more. Did he say it too fast? Oh no. Now Akira’s smirking. “What do you do here? I know it's a business school- I see a lot of preppy know-it-alls like you around the city with the same school emblem on their bags.” Akira shivered as he thought about the self-proclaimed ‘preppy know-it-alls’, taking another sip of his coffee to cool down. “I thought you wanted to be an aut--” Goro yelped, his hands shaking as he shook his head in denial. “Don't finish it! Shut up!” Akira smiled as he faced a flushed Goro, who leaned against the back of the diner seat. “My little Hegel,” Akira hummed, Goro sighing in complete and utter disgust. “Don’t call me that… It’s a disgrace to both Hegel and myself.” Akira chuckled as he saw Goro reach for his cup of coffee, cooling off before answering Akira’s first question.

“In truth,” Goro began to speak, Akira leaning back in his seat, “I’m a business major. I’m studying the basic materials: finances, management, other important business practices- it’s not as hard as they say it is.” Goro sighed while placing his empty cup of coffee down on the table. “Of course it isn't hard for you… You’re one of the preppy know-it-alls. Knowing everything is your expertise. All college kids are the same,” Akira murmured, the brunette cocking an eyebrow at his comment. “Oh, and you're exempt from it? What are you up to nowadays, Musician Man?” Goro scoffed, Akira quiet as he sat up in his seat.

“...I’m not attending any colleges at the moment.” He softly said, Goro’s expression shifting into a more neutral one. The two sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying the quietness more as they both thought of how to go from here. 

“After high school- after we broke up,” Akira began to speak, Goro crossing his arms as he listened to him, “I decided I was going to take music head on. I had no reason to go to any of my classes, simply because I didn't find the joy in going to them. I ended up buying a guitar- practicing and messing around with key changes ended up being more fun than anything else. I did a few cover shows at the local bars, and I ended up writing my own lyrics. I think people liked that.” Akira smiled as he thought about his early career, Goro shifting in his seat from the nerves that travelled through his body. 

“So you dropped out to pursue music.” Goro affirmed, Akira shyly nodding. “When you phrase it like that,” the ravenette began to say, taking a deep breath, “it sounds much worse than it actually is. I still got a diploma, I just didn’t enroll in any colleges. Besides, I’m happy as a musician. It’s therapeutic for me to be able to write down all my insecurities and have my fans say they understand how I feel. My career makes me happy.” Akira’s expression was solemn, but the weak smile that was on his lips was one of pride. 

Akira’s career makes him happy.

Can the same be said about Goro’s?

He shook his head, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts that poured into his brain. “And you? What have you been up to?” Akira softly asked, Goro scoffing as he looked into the empty cup in front him. “I got in with a scholarship. I’ve been keeping my life on the down low up until recently- taking this job is probably the most action I’ve had since moving into my apartment.” Goro truthfully said, crossing his legs under the table. “You’re saying you picked up the job as my manager- specifically me, so your boring life could get a little more lively.”

Goro couldn’t help but laugh at Akira’s comment. “You wish. I got an ad for the position and I decided to take it. Easy as that!” He smirked, the ravenette nodding in response. “Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to admit that you wanted to see me again,” Akira dramatically sighed, a smile on his lips as he watched the brunette roll his eyes. 

“Where do we go from here?” Akira asked, Goro diverting his attention away from the diner’s scenery to Akira. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean by that.” He murmured, the ravenette sighing as he thought of how to properly explain his concerns. “Like, we’re talking about life after high school. Anything else you wanna talk about?”

There is so much Goro wants to talk about. He can’t bring himself to mention that to Akira, though.

“We could talk about the tour,” Goro sighed, Akira groaning as he sat up in his seat. “Listen, your first show is tonight. We should be in Akihabara by now.” Goro scolded, digging into his bag to take out a notepad. He pushed the pad across the table to where Akira was seated, using the attached pen to point to the listed tour dates. “We have time! Akihabara isn't even that far from here, you’re being dramatic.” Goro gasped, faux shock on his face. “By the way,” he began to say, looking at the notepad that laid between them, “I rented out the camper van we’ll be using for the tour. You can go get your stuff from your place and we can meet up… maybe here?” Akira’s eyes widened as he looked at his watch, then to Goro. “Holy shit, I forgot to pack!” He mumbled, Goro scoffing in response. He watched the ravenette stand up, taking out his wallet and taking out the money for the coffee, placing it on the table. “I’ll see you later, okay!? I completely forgot!” He yelled, running past the other students and customers who were inside the diner.

Goro’s jaw had dropped, unsure of how to properly articulate his thoughts. 

He softly sighed, resting both of his arms down on the table. He placed his head over them, deciding that staying quiet was better than saying anything at all.

-

In the corner of his eye, he could loosely see a familiar head of hair carrying four suitcases.

Goro began to laugh out of shock as Akira walked into the diner’s parking lot, three guitars in their respective cases all clinging onto his body. He held two bags that had suitcases attached to them, Goro chuckling as he finally saw the look of exhaustion on the ravenette’s face. “You look dead. Absolutely drained.” He proudly smiled, his arm resting on the prompted up handle of his own suitcase. “Don’t you ever shut up?” Akira sighed, Goro shrugging as he shifted his posture. “I forgot to pack, so I put everything I think I might need into any suitcase I had laying around.” The musician murmured, climbing the stairs of the camper van. 

Goro looked around inside, nodding in agreement with what he saw. It was compact inside the vehicle, yet extremely efficient: the couches could be unfolded into makeshift beds, and the table had a charging port. The bathroom was small but still did the intended job, and the position of the windows would lead to some great views later on. 

Akira sighed as he laid his guitars on the couch, hands on his hips as he analyzed his surroundings, then where he might put his instruments. Goro closed the door to the camper van, locking it as he began to get settled himself. The pair worked in silence, separating necessities from things they don't need at the moment. It was quiet inside the camper, the sounds of zippers and devices being heard between the both of them. Goro sat on the couch while examining everything he’s taken out already- two cards (a credit card, for the exclusive use of things regarding the tour: and a debit card, for Goro’s own personal use), his phone, laptop, some chargers, and hygiene products. 

Across from him, Akira seemed to be looking at his three guitars. Goro narrowed his eyes to the one in the middle- it was an acoustic guitar, but the case was old. There were stickers from games and places he’s been to stuck on, some ripped and some in mint condition. Goro was able to pinpoint the franchises on a few of the game stickers, and the places listed on the other ones.

It occurred to him then that this wasn’t just a guitar- this was the guitar from high school.

“Holy shit,” Goro softly said, gazing at the guitar. Akira looked to his side, unlocking the case and holding his acoustic guitar carefully in his hands, It looked polished and cared for, despite being the oldest guitar out of the other two. “Arsene has held up well over the years, hasn’t he? He does me wonders.” Akira smiled as he looked at the instrument, fingers strumming over the strings. He held it with such precision and sensitivity, Goro entranced by how natural it all looked. 

“Wait,” He murmured, looking at the two other guitars, “you gave your guitars names? And this is the one from high school!” Goro pointed out, Akira setting his guitar down on his lap. “Arsene is just for when I’m on the go. That bass guitar is Raoul, and the electric guitar is Satanael. I didn’t know if the venues we’d be going to on tour would supply me with the equipment I was most comfortable with, so I brought a lot of my own supplies too.” Akira sighed, starting to pack up ‘Arsene’. “So what you’re saying is that you like to show off your instruments.” Goro bluntly said, crossing his right leg over his left. 

Akira scoffed as he patted his guitar, nodding his head. “Yes, I do. Raoul and Satanael are vintage models! When I give them to my crew mates, they all start foaming at the mouth. Prized collection, they are- I owe a lot of things to these guitars. It’s kind of my nature to show them off.” Akira confessed, radiating pride and pleasure as he talked about his instruments. He looked up to face Goro, who seemed more Akira than the guitars. “You seemed surprised that I’ve kept Arsene as if you haven’t kept ‘little red’ over there all these years.” Akira chuckled, tilting his head towards the red bicycle that sat unoccupied by Goro’s luggage.

The brunette rolled his eyes at Akira’s comment, looking at his own bicycle.

“I haven’t decided where I’m gonna put that, actually.” Goro mumbled, Akira shrugging as he slid his guitars to the other side of the couch. “Uh, maybe outside? It’s going to take up space here.” Akira chuckled, Goro eyeing his bicycle. All the stickers were in accordance with the stickers on Akira’s guitar case, standing up so he could better examine it. He picked up the bicycle, holding it firmly, before going outside to tie it up.

It was hard to let go of the bicycle once he was done.

-

“There’s so much traffic here, it’s unreal. I told you we were going to be late!” Goro scolded, fingers tapping on the smooth faux leather of the steering wheel. Akira groaned as he turned around to face the brunette in the driver's seat, then looking at the masses of cars and bikes in front of them. “We’ll be fine, I swear! It’ll clear up eventually, just be patient for now.” Akira murmured, letting his phone rest in his lap. “At least we can take a break while we wait for it to dissolve,” Akira sighed, cracking his knuckles as he sat up straight in the passenger seat. Goro’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head in disbelief. “What do you mean ‘we’? I’m the one driving, you're wasting away on your phone. We are not the same.” The brunette mumbled, his left hand steady on the steering wheel.

The two sat quietly, unsure of where to take the conversation.

Goro didn’t want to play music, mostly because he was sure the types of music he and Akira liked were both vastly different. Thinking back to high school, Goro spent most of his time at jazz clubs, while Akira lived it up at local rock venues. The time they spent together was mostly the music that was ‘trending’- occasionally jazz, occasionally rock, occasionally indie, of all things; but it was still music they listened to together. Akira probably doesn't even like jazz. Or classical, or even the hard rock Goro listens to. 

“I’m leaving you in charge of the playlist.” Goro finally said, Akira opening his eyes to look at the brunette at his side. “Why can't you pick the music?” Akira sighed, turning off his phone and placing it in between his legs. “Because I’m driving, obviously,” Goro hissed, the musician sighing as he looked away from Goro. “There’s traffic, you’ll be fine. Just quickly pick an album and keep driving.” Akira reasoned, turning to look out the window of the camper van. The brunette sighed, leg bouncing out of continuous nerves. What should he pick? There’s no music he’s in the mood to listen to, or even pick--

Wait.

Goro turned to look at Akira, who was more focused on the scenery outside the window rather than what Goro did. The brunette nodded as he picked up his phone, putting the name of the musician next to him into the search bar. 

There was a lot to pick from- a lot to look at. While the road ran slow and the traffic looked long, Goro let his left hand go from the steering wheel, taking his phone in both hands to look at the musician’s information more clearly. He went to the streaming service he seemed to be most popular on, greeted with an even more overwhelming plethora of information. The profile photo that Akira had set for the music application was him in blonde hair, which seemed to be a look he particularly enjoyed. Goro’s eyes widened as he looked at the number of monthly listeners under the musician’s name, bringing his phone closer to his face.

1,000,000!?!

His jaw dropped as he slowly turned to look at Akira, who was faintly dancing to the song that played in his earbuds. Goro blinked his eyes as he slowly turned back to his phone, unsure of whether or not he should go any further. He regained his composure steadily, looking at Akira’s information and songs. The titles and album covers seemed to range very distantly from one another, and while diversity is always good in an artist, the duality that Akira held made Goro more pensive than excited.

He took a deep breath, his finger tapping on the most popular song.

The sound of a guitar started to fade in, accompanied by outstanding background vocals that matched the melody the instruments were playing. A gentle synthesizer added a more alternative tone to the track, alongside some percussion that made the record as a whole more lively. The singer intentionally coughed before they started to sing, the synthesizer fading out to let the voice of the musician take over. 

Akira’s eyes darted open, Goro intently waiting for the song to begin. The ravenette squealed as he leaped for the stereo system, turning the volume down and switching from the phone audio to the regular radio. Goro’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the musician, whose chest was heaving from the contact. “Hey, what the fuck? Don't tell me you have stage fright… AND you’re going on tour? You’re a lost cause.” Goro hissed, Akira silent as he processed the situation. He then nervously laughed, leaning back in his seat.

“I don't have stage fright, idiot, I just…” He fiddled around with both his words and feelings, his hands running up and down his thighs. “Find a different song to play, you know? It’s weird for someone I know to listen to my songs and…” Goro’s attention piqued, switching the stereo back to his phone. 

“We’re coworkers. I’m not someone you know. Just someone you work with.” He murmured, Akira scratching his neck as he looked down at the phone between his legs. “Besides, what if I want to listen to this song? It sounded nice. I want to see if your singing techniques have improved since I last heard them. Remember, use the diaphragm!” Goro smiled as he said the last part of the sentence in a lower voice, mocking Akira’s own words. The musician rolled his eyes as he faced Goro, his hand hovering over the volume button to ensure Goro doesn't turn it back up. “You don't want to listen to this song. My worst one. Terrible songwriting. It was given a light 2. Horrendous, ugly excuse of a song.” Akira spoke with a monotone voice, Goro cackling at his reaction.

“You’re pathetic. Why else would ‘Knives for Eyes’ have over five million streams? People don't listen to ‘terrible songwriting, with a light 2, that happens to be an ugly, horrendous excuse of a song’. What are you hiding from me?” Hearing the title of the song spoken from Goro’s lips sent Akira into a frenzy, the musician kicking his legs as he hid behind his hands. “You don't even want to listen to my music! Just pick something else!” Akira sighed, bringing his hands down to his side. 

“Knives for Eyes is a bold song title. The tempo and overall structure of the song so far sounds a lot softer than what the title implies, though.” Goro softly stated as he analyzed the state of the song from what he heard, Akira rolling his eyes as he placed his phone in his pocket rather than keep it on his lap. “You wouldn't know music even if it slapped you in the face. Fuck off with all that ‘structural’ bullshit, it’s literally just an acoustic guitar with backup vocals.” Akira sighed, scratching his neck as Goro widened his eyes. “Oh, now you're threatening your manager? Fine, I’ll pick a different song.”

The silence that had went on between them was uncomfortable as Goro had assured Akira he would find another song. The intrigue he held for finding what was so bad about ‘Knives for Eyes’ was more than present, but listening to it or even mentioning it to Akira while he was around was a no-go.

“You released two albums since your debut?” Goro observed, Akira sighing as he readjusted his posture in the seat. “First of all, learn the difference between an EP and an album. If you plan on continuing work in the music scene after me, the big shots will spit on you for confusing the two.” Akira warned, placing his hands behind his head for comfort. “The EP, ‘Problem Children’, is my debut into music. Knives for Eyes is on there, but a lot of personal songs in general are also on there. It’s a story of youth and growth, but also heartbreak and abandonment. My most recent album has been pretty successful, too.” Goro nodded as he scrolled down the tracklist, eyebrows furrowing at the song titles. 

Caramel Hair?

Cycling at Sunset?

Goro clicked on the latter, turning the stereo volume up. A modified piano began to play, with a steady percussion accompanying it. “This is, uhm- do you know, like, indie pop?” Akira tried to explain, Goro nodding as he leaned back in his chair. “Cycling at Sunset is… what the title says. Very self explanatory.” Goro’s eyebrows furrowed as he sat back up, looking at Akira. “From the way you explain your work to me, it sounds like you don't want me to listen to them.”

Akira smiled as he scratched the back of his neck, a toothy grin distracting Goro from the situation at hand. “That’s the point.”

Goro looked up from his phone, looking at the musician next to him. “Am I… bothering you?” He quietly asked, Akira shifting the posture in his seat. 

“A little bit.” Akira softly replied, Goro unsure of how to proceed. “With me working as your manager, I’m bound to hear these songs eventually.” He murmured, Akira looking down at his lap. “It’s the subject matter of the songs. It’s an experience better listened to alone, especially if it’s your first time listening.”

That made sense. Barely, but it made sense.

But what was so sensitive about his songs? The whole first EP of his career? What was being hidden from him? There’s no way these songs were as bad as Akira said they were- now he’s even more curious as to what the lyrics are.

Goro watched as the traffic began to dissolve, able to drive steadily to their location again. 

Thinking about the concert, he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to go anymore.

-

As he stood on the venue’s balcony floor, it's under neon lights and a bad impression that he realizes he isn't supposed to be here.

Goro’s never been the one to go to these kinds of events- and while Akira was just as shy as him growing up, he was always ready for any situation. The ravenette liked the adrenaline of going on stage and performing, or simply watching the other artists show off their craft. Below Goro was the general area- people standing with neon wristbands and a range of different clothing and hairstyles. The upper balcony floor was for the people who paid for the VIP package, which included a photo with Akira and a signed piece of merchandise. He was waiting on the balcony until he was done with the VIP session- he didn't want to see Akira fake smiles for one hour.

He already gets to see that all day.

Goro sighed, his elbow resting on the edge of the balcony. His hand is holding his head up, a few of the VIP fans nearby looking at him. He couldn't stand how they looked at him from head to toe, Goro moving a bit further away. The stage crew was setting up their materials, but as the lights were dimmed, showing that they were almost done. He was able to see Akira’s guitars carefully held in the band’s hands, his prized acoustic guitar on a stand in the middle of the stage. 

He looked down at the sea of people below him, shocked that this many people supported and admired Akira’s music. Although he couldn't understand the hype that surrounded Akira or his music (probably due to the fact that they're ex-boyfriends), seeing that Akira made a living off of something that made him happy was… impressive. 

The crowd below him began to scream, Goro’s eyes widening as he came back to reality. He was thinking about this too much- why not just enjoy the show? At least try to understand and appreciate the work- that's the least he could do. The bright lights from before had come back into the venue, the fans in the front row throwing their hands up. 

The way these fans screamed, how they jumped, how they threw their hands out in hopes for at least a gentle touch from the musician who was about to come on stage- they really liked Akira. Goro couldn't help but roll his eyes as the musician walked out on stage, a smile much more genuine than anything he’s been shown in the span of the past few days they've been together on his face.

“We’re gonna start off slow, is that okay?” 

Goro looked up, Akira’s tone a lot darker than how it usually is. The fans ate that up, absolutely- but he wasn't hot. He was just doing his job. The crowd seemed to be in agreement due to the way they were shouting and screaming, Akira chuckling into the microphone. “Actually, what are you guys feeling? Cycling at Sunset, or Vinyl?” The ravenette placed a hand to his ear as if to better enhance his hearing, leaning forward while the crowd shouted their picks for the first song of the night. 

A certain phrase was thrown around more than anything else- one that surprised even Akira.

“Knives for Eyes? Really? That’s supposed to be the last song, guys…” Akira smiled as he laughed, some of the audience members cooing at how ‘cute he looked’, while everyone just either laughed or screamed in response. “Alright, fine! Don't tell management about this, but I’ll perform it twice for you guys tonight. It's because I love you,” Akira blew a kiss into the crowd, smiling brightly upon seeing how excited and joyful everyone was.

Akira was truly happy. Happy to be here, happy to meet his fans and play for them- everything was genuine.

The lights dimmed, Akira comfortably holding his instrument. He turned to look at the band behind him, nodding for reassurance that everyone was ready. He turned back around to face the audience, guitar in hand. 

The song that had played earlier in the camper was playing now. Goro listened intently to ‘Knives for Eyes’, which was apparently a track so sensitive that Goro couldn't even listen to it. The gentle guitar and backing synthesizer had come back, the brunette almost entranced by the song. 

Akira began to sing, the crowd holding up their phones. Some even had the indecency to keep the flash on, which Goro could tell was hindering Akira’s eyesight. The ravenette began to sing- his tone a lot more sincere and soft than when he first came out on stage. 

The song started off gentle. Goro listened closely as Akira began to sing, his voice admittedly soothing. A relationship is mentioned a few times, Akira singing about nights spent cradling a lover and wishing the best for one another. The afternoons spent riding bikes through town, the idea of his lover talking being the greatest sound. He has a way with words- but only to an extent in Goro’s mind. Akira’s singing about a relationship- and based on their experiences, that hasn't worked out so well for him. 

The days spent cycling, Akira mentions a red bike- afternoons spent going to record shops and picking out vinyls. Walking around while holding hands, and overall, the idea of spending time with someone:

Oh.

Knives for Eyes is about him. About them.

Akira reaches the chorus of the song, using the titular ‘Knives for Eyes’ as the leading phrase through the verse. He compares his lover’s eyes to knives, implying that they're sharp- and Goro can't help but shake his head in disarray. It makes sense that this song is about him- the mention of his lover’s caramel hair, the studious charm he held, his puny red bicycle- this isn't a matter of ego, this is their relationship that Akira’s singing about.

To the public.

To the world.

Goro sat down, looking at Akira through the bars of the balcony. His head was leaned against them, listening to the crowd singing about their shared experiences together as if it was just some simple song from the radio. 

Well, what could he expect? He dated a musician. This was bound to happen someday.

Goro chuckled as he relapsed that thought to himself, his mind flooding with imagery of youth and better times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my twt for when i update: ourllght
> 
> i promise with my HEART it gets better here on out. conflict am i right chat haha am i right haha am i ri


	3. i think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getz/gilberto is one of my favorite albums so by default it's one of goro's too  
> (no more what ifs, which is implied to be goro's theme, is similar to chega de saudade, which is a very influential bossa nova track. i think about that everyday lol)
> 
> this chapter is a Doozy i hope you guys enjoy!!!!!! here's the [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QEcZfOjaI3Oo8cRzVuAvO?si=ECov9z_ZQjKoPrcSH6Sj8Q), which is complete with songs for the entire story!  
> also, promoting the [getz/gilberto album](https://open.spotify.com/album/2W6Hvrtg2Zpc9dW4aBDbdP?si=iQy7YzDCTKy3fBEu7bE6iw) in case you'd like to listen to what goro was listening to!
> 
> i hope you enjoy, and im sorry that this chapter is a little short, the rest of the chapters will be LARGE so i hope that makes up for it

The plate of pancakes in front of him looked absolutely delectable. It was almost able to get Goro to stop worrying about everything that happened last night in Akihabara, too many thoughts in his mind for him to stop thinking about it. He looked up to the ravenette in front of him, who seemed more focused on blending his coffee rather than the world surrounding them. There was a lot the two could talk about: the tour, the songs performed, the overall outcome of it all- but it was too hard to even try and pretend like everything he heard last night didn’t happen.

“I listened to your EP.” Goro bluntly said, Akira unsure of how to respond. He looked down at the table for a minute, taking a sip of his coffee before proceeding with the topic at hand. “My lover’s got knives for eyes, so sharp I might die? Not to add- we used to go to the city at sunset, leaving behind all our fears and regrets.” Goro finally said, Akira not saying a word. “So, here’s my next question, Kurusu,” The brunette smiled as he leaned in, facing a wide-eyed Akira.

“Did you write an entire EP about our high school relationship?”

Akira looked down, Goro scoffing as he brought his hand from the side of the table to Akira’s face, lifting the ravenette’s chin up to look each other eye to eye. Goro’s eyes pierced into Akira’s, the brunette able to feel Akira gulp at their proximity. For the first time since the staff meeting, Goro felt powerful over Akira.

Goro blinked, realizing how close they actually were.

The brunette scrambled back into his seat, the dominance he held over the prior situation diminished completely. He watched as Akira placed his cup of coffee back down on the table, taken aback by what had just happened. Goro straightened up his posture, trying his best to not let out his flustered emotions. “Well? The similarities are definitely there, considering I was there for all of the events mentioned in the songs,” Goro kept pressing for an answer, Akira gazing at him. The ravenette finally caved in, putting his hands up as he leaned back in his seat. 

“Okay, hear me out,” Akira began to say, Goro laughing in shock. “The relationship we shared in high school was very important to my growth as both a person and an artist. Not touching upon it would essentially be a disgrace to younger me.” 

Goro stopped thinking upon hearing his response, slowly nodding in accordance to what was being said. All of it made sense- it’s just not what Goro wanted to hear. 

“I see,” Goro murmured, looking down to his pancakes, “that’s valid.” Goro lifted his cup of coffee off the table, taking a sip before speaking again. “But you do realize that people are singing along to these songs about our relationship- like it’s just another song on the radio, right? Do they know how significant this shit is to you?” Goro hissed, Akira scoffing as he sat up straight in his seat. “I feel like my fans are able to tell that this is an EP about a past relationship I had.” The musician murmured, Goro sighing as he took a bite of his pancakes. “Even then, they won’t view it as anything more. It’s just ‘relatable’ and ‘down-to-Earth’. Other than lyrics, though, those songs live? They’re incredible! My craft is great, the fans are great, the atmosphere is great- great vibes only at my concerts.”

Goro thought about last night- head against the balcony bars, eyes hurting from the neon lights and body weak from hearing these songs about their past live. 

Good vibes only at his concerts, huh?

“You seem like you disagree. You were at my concert yesterday- what made it weird for you?” Akira softly asked, Goro perplexed by the state of his question. “I was sitting up on the balcony. There were a lot of girls looking at me- it was… offputting. Not to mention when you sang ‘Caramel Hair’ and talked about your past lover’s looks, those girls looked at me in shock.” Goro softly sighed, Akira nodding in acknowledgement. “I didn’t… It was weird. Hearing about all our experiences in some pop song,” Goro muttered, Akira gasping in shock. “It isn’t pop! It’s a mixture of indie rock and alternative. Very specific difference between the two.”

Goro scoffed as he listened to Akira speak, turning to his bag which sat idly beside him. He pulled out the same notepad from the jazz club, Akira looking intently as he awaited Goro’s next moves. “Speaking of pop,” Goro began to say, flipping through the pages in his notepad until he reached the right one, “the venue we’re going to for the Shibuya concert? Look at this. You know Risette? Rise Kujikawa?” Goro asked, Akira’s eyes lighting up as he already realized what Goro was going to say.

“She performed at that venue a while back, too.” Goro smirked, Akira gasping as he took the notepad into his own hands, looking at the listed venue as he tried to put his thoughts into words. 

“I’m going on the same stage as Rise Kujikawa? THE Rise Kujikawa?” Akira asked, his shocked expression turning into a more joyful one upon seeing Goro’s confirmation of the situation. “That’s- holy shit, that’s crazy!” He laughed, Goro placing a hand up to his mouth to conceal the way his neutral expression was steadily shifting to a smile. “So, we’re going to Shibuya today? That’s cool, they have a lot of good places to eat.” Goro couldn’t help but chuckle at Akira’s words, his fingers tapping against the table.

“You’re on tour, and you’re more concerned with what you’ll be eating?” The brunette murmured, taking a bite of his own food. “Meals are very important, especially where and how much I eat. They have incredible places to dine in Shibuya. If I don’t have breakfast every morning, I’ll probably evaporate. No morning coffee?” Akira’s hand glided across his throat, sticking out his tongue to insinuate death. “You know, I’m… surprised your eating habits have improved. That’s… good.” Goro murmured, Akira scoffing as he listened to him speak.

“Pfft, it’s nothing huge. I still have the same love for all the food I made back then,” Akira sighed, Goro’s eyes widening as he looked up to Akira. “What do you mean ‘all the food’? All you ate was curry.” Akira rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “It wasn’t all curry. My brewing habits have definitely improved, too- you should try my coffee one of these days.” Akira chuckled, Goro looking into his own cup of coffee.

Akira, despite now being a world-renowned singer and songwriter, is still the same kid he dated in high school. 

The brunette scoffed, a light pink coating his cheeks. “Don’t you like your coffee black? I can’t stand bitter tastes.” Goro sighed, finishing his cup of coffee and setting it back down on the table. “Bitter people don’t like bitter tastes? How odd,” Akira mumbled, Goro looking up at Akira. His blood ran cold, his brain rushing to try and create some sort of response- but nothing came to mind. It’s not that he didn’t want to try Akira’s brewing skills, but the last time they did something like that together, they were still--

“You look very pensive when you think. Your eyebrows furrow up and your body goes still. I didn’t mean what I said in a rude way, honest.” Akira chimed in, placing his empty cup of coffee next to Goro’s. The brunette looked at the two cups on the table, then back to Akira.

Why is he overthinking so much? Why is he so nervous around Akira- anything regarding Akira?

He groaned as he slid back into his seat, Akira chuckling at his expression. “If we wanna get to Shibuya on time like you want, we should be leaving now. We can take a breather in the camper van, too.” Akira sighed, cracking his knuckles. 

Goro needs a breather.

-

Thinking about it hours later, Goro realizes he could have seriously benefited from Akira making him coffee.

Driving is one thing- it’s exhausting, but seeing Akira dance and sing to the songs he liked on the radio? That was heart-wrenchingly painful. He rolled his eyes, the brunette keeping himself focused on the road. They should be arriving in Shibuya sometime soon, which makes Goro’s life a whole lot easier.

“Hey, I’m gonna use the bathroom.” Akira murmured, Goro looking to his side. The ravenette stood up, taking his phone with him to the back of the camper van. The vehicle stopped in the midst of the steadily forming traffic, Goro hearing the door to the bathroom close. 

He gave a long, deep sigh, closing his eyes. All he wanted since the beginning was the ability to take a break, a breather- and now that he feels like he’s stuck in time, he can get that piece of relaxation he’s been lacking. The music on the radio was nothing more than a faint whisper, and the lack of noise in general made Goro relaxed. He leaned back into the driver seat, closing his eyes as his head leaned against the head-rest of the seat. A multitude of thoughts had circled around his mind, but the ability to take a break was more important to him. This was probably the only sliver of time he would have to himself, and there was no possible way that it would be taken away from him--

“No way you own a shirt like this!”

Goro’s eyes immediately opened upon hearing the dark voice from before behind him, his body shifting so he could look behind him to see what was happening. “And what do you think you’re doing? I never gave you permission to dig around in my luggage.” Goro hissed, Akira giggling as he pulled out a singular black shirt from Goro’s bag. “Your phone charger was on the floor, so I was gonna go put it back. However, more serious things need to be addressed.” 

His mind started racing with multiple different ideas; what did Akira want to talk about? Did he fuck up? Does Akira feel sick? It’s okay, because Goro does too- the brunette is sure he hasn’t said too much about himself up until this point. Did Akira read ahead the tour list in his notepad? All of his little worrisome notes and reminders? Goro’s leg started bouncing in response to the nerves that travelled through his system, trying to prepare himself for what might be said.

“Riddle me this, manager,” Akira began to say, flipping over the shirt in his hand to reveal a band logo, “I know you don’t listen to rock. Why do you own a ‘Nirvana’ shirt?” Goro gave a deep sigh of relief, turning back around in the driver seat. Akira came back to the front of the camper van, sliding back into the passenger seat with the shirt in hand. “You just- I can’t believe it. You wear shirts for bands you don’t listen to!” Akira desperately sighed, Goro rolling his eyes. “First of all, you don’t know what I like. I could listen to heavy metal and you wouldn’t know.” Goro reasoned, Akira shaking his head. “All you listen to is jazz. There’s no variety in that musical brain of yours,” Akira sighed, Goro’s eyebrows furrowing as he looked up at the road, driving again at a steady pace now that the traffic had gotten lighter.

“Well, I like a lot of types of music. Your music is good too,” Goro sighed, Akira gazing at him, awaiting a follow up response.

Goro’s eyes widened, realizing what he had just said.

“Oh, my God! No, I didn’t mean it like that- I meant, per say, the genre of music you make- that’s also a really soothing type of music. Gentle and calm,” Goro chuckled, internally furious at the shit-eating grin that had spread across Akira’s face. “You like my music,” Akira giggled, Goro groaning as he rubbed his temples. “You’re absolutely infuriating. You know what I meant- I haven’t listened to any of your music up until yesterday. I just think the genre is nice.” Goro waited for Akira to be done laughing, his heart twisting upon seeing Akira’s gentle smile.

“But, for real- adding onto what I said before. You own a Nirvana shirt even though you don’t listen to them. That’s the same as you buying one of my shirts even though you don’t listen to my music.” Akira murmured, Goro focused on both the road and the boy next to him. There was a moment of silence before Akira spoke up again, his eyebrows furrowed. “Why didn’t you want to listen to my music, anyway? Were you scared you’d fall in love again?” Akira jokingly asked, Goro unsure of what he meant.

Maybe?

Following their breakup, Goro vowed to only focus on himself and his needs. The music Akira produced and the career he created wasn’t any of his business, but the temptation to listen to what he was making was always somewhat present. Hearing Akira’s gentle voice and soothing tunes would cause something inside of Goro to awaken again- a certain feeling of admiration he was destined to kill.

“I was afraid your music would be bad,” a lie on Goro’s behalf, “so I pretended your career never happened.” The brunette stated, Akira chuckling in response. “It’s okay to say you wanted to move on, you know. I wanted to move on, too.” Akira loosely said, Goro’s fingers tapping against the steering wheel. He wasn’t sure if Akira was telling the truth or not- but it was too late to try and analyze it any further. “Besides, you’re hearing all my songs now! A victory for you, because now you can be an Akira-Stan.” Goro couldn’t help but smile at Akira’s words, the ravenette laughing along with him.

“A stan? What’s a stan?” Goro murmured, Akira laughing more at how lost the brunette was. “Doesn’t matter now, at least- we’re almost in Shibuya. I’m so excited for all the high class restaurants and diners,” Akira excitedly said, Goro’s heart beating faster than usual. Seeing the way Akira laughed, how his body leaned forward and his eyes closed- he felt emotions he’s been trying to avoid.

Something is happening to him.

-

_“Hey, you’re the new manager, right? You’re just as cute as Akira is,” One of the girls murmured, her hand sliding down from Goro’s shoulder to his hand. The brunette yanked it away, the forced smile on his face cracking the longer he stood next to the fan. “Since you know him, could you give him my number for me? Look, I got ‘caramel hair’ too!” She handed a small piece of paper to Goro, the letter enclosed with glue and sent with a kiss. Goro held it by the tip of his fingers, walking away from the fan and chucking the note in the trash can._

_The venue’s balcony section was a lot calmer in comparison to the concert in Akihabara, with the fans next to him waiting for the show to start or talking to each other. Down below in the general admission area was a more boisterous crowd, most of them managing to pick a song to sing along to while they waited for Akira to come out on stage._

_For the first time since the moment he walked into the meeting room for the interview for the position of Akira’s manager, Goro felt like he had control over his life. True peace, true relaxation- something that was violently taken away from him the moment he found out who he would be working for._

_But, just like every other moment of peace he’s had on this trip, it was taken away from him._

_"Hey, you!” A confident voice called out to him, Goro looking to his side to see another group of V.I.P fans looking at him. He feels his heart sink and the faux smile form on his lips, nodding in response to the voice. “We noticed you walk in with Akira earlier before the meet-and-greet? We had a question,” the fan said, his eyes finally meeting Goro’s own. “I am not allowed to disclose my client’s private information. It wouldn’t kill you guys to consider the privacy of your idols.” Goro murmured, his gaze sharp as he looked back at the group of fans. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, the fan from before shaking his head in response._

_“I was gonna ask what your favorite song was! I don’t want his phone number or anything like that. Although, it would be cool…” He jokingly sighed, the other fans with him laughing too. Goro was unsure of how to respond to such a question- listening to Akira’s music felt more like a chore than it did an ‘experience’- and considering how he’s the subject of a lot of the tracks Akira sang, he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to enjoy Akira’s music the way his loyal fans do._

_“For starters, I like ‘Knives for Eyes’.” One of the female fans said, another fan nodding their head in agreement. “‘Vinyl’ is a good song! His storytelling is really well-spoken in that song, especially the vividness of his lyrics. I can literally see the sunset in my head when he sings about it.” They happily said, the rest of the group agreeing with them. “I like all of the songs on his EP ‘Problem Children’. It depicts such a happy relationship, you know? I want what Akira and his lover have. I wanna go cycling at sunset, and I wanna go record shopping! I want someone to look at me the way his lover does…” One of the fans said, Goro’s mouth running dry. “Man, I wanna meet the girl who stole Akira’s heart like that… You think she’s hot?” One of the other fans dreamily sighed, a bead of sweat rolling down Goro’s face._

_He was right._

_Watching these fans talk about their relationship as if it’s some simple song from the radio… it made him sick to his stomach. He’s talked about this multiple times to Akira- but actually hearing it in such a graphic nature like this was simply too much for him._

_“Oh, I have to go,” Goro murmured, taking out his phone with a shaky hand. “I got a call to make. It’s hard being a manager, haha!” He smiled, the fans looking at him expectantly. “You’re his new manager? That makes sense…!” One of the fans said, Goro already turning around to leave. “Goodbye, manager-san!”_

… 

The tune the singer was singing ended, bringing Goro back to reality. 

Shortly after running out of the venue Akira was performing in, he decided to cool off at a local jazz bar on the same road. To say it was a lot more peaceful at the club was an understatement- it was just a better environment overall. No teen angst, no disturbing fans, no screams of joy- just the gentle sounds of jazz. The glass of sparkling water on the table kept bubbling, Goro too tired to take his hand out from his pocket and take a sip. 

Maybe Akira doesn't even know he left. Maybe he’s too busy singing about his insecurities to a fanbase who doesn't know the root of them, and maybe he’s convinced that he’s watching him from the balcony. 

And to Goro? Maybe that’s for the better.

The singer began to sing a new song, the interior of the jazz club quiet as they let her gain control of the room once again. Goro fought the strength to pick up his drink and take a sip, endearingly watching the singer on stage. He could go back to the camper van and sleep- but that was too far a walk and too close of an encounter with Akira. He couldn't stop overthinking the situation, Goro’s hands digging into his hair. The sound of a chair scraping against the floor alerted Goro, his body jolting upon seeing who was sitting across from him.

A somewhat sweaty Akira, his hair slicked back and blazer wrapped around his waist. His necklace was tangled and his cosmetic glasses were attached to the collar of his shirt, and despite the messy appearance, he still managed to smell like vanilla. Goro felt his face heat up, slouching into his seat as Akira crossed his legs in his seat. 

“You left early,” Akira murmured, his voice raspy, “what happened?” Goro's shaky hand reached for his drink, taking a long sip to ease his nerves. “Nothing happened, I just needed fresh air.” Goro murmured, looking straight into Akira’s eyes. The ravenette sighed, pushing his chair further in and gazing at Goro. “Something else happened. You seemed in distress when you left.” Goro felt his hands stiffen, placing his cup on the table before closing his eyes. There's no use in lying- Akira had known he left from the moment he walked out the venue doors. It’s safe to say the plan didn't work- but to explain why he left was definitely the part he did not want to do.

“There were some fans bothering me, that's all. I didn't mind, I just wanted some peace and quiet.” Goro sighed, Akira tapping his fingers on the table. “One of them wanted your number, but I declined on your behalf. The other fans asked me what my favorite song by you was, and they started talking about their favorite songs by you.” The brunette truthfully said, Akira nodding in response. He seemed to be thinking of the situation, Goro unsure if what he had said was right or wrong.

“And you left because they talked about our relationship like it was ‘some song on the radio’, right?”

Oh, definitely that. Not the whole ‘I wanna meet the girl who stole Akira’s heart like that’. Not at all that! Definitely the thing they've discussed before.

Goro loosely nodded, taking another sip of his drink. “That’s all, yeah. I would have stayed longer, but I don't think the balcony area is the right place for me.” Goro bluntly stated, Akira’s eyebrows rising at his words. “You're my manager. You’re allowed to wait backstage with me- you know that, right?” Goro’s eyes widened at the revelation, Akira laughing at his response. “You're a lost cause! Don't be shy to go backstage, okay? There's enough space for you. I can give you guitar lessons, if you want,” Goro chuckled as he shook his head, taking a sip from his glass and placing it back on the table. “I’m not a musical person. There’s no need for a lesson, I promise.” Goro assured, Akira smiling as he looked down at his hands. 

“Well, I’m here whenever you need me. Whether it be for music or to yell at me. Plus, being backstage is a lot cooler! You’ll get to see how we set up and shit- it's pretty cool. Maybe I’ll even let you come on stage one of those days,” Akira sighed, Goro’s eyes widening as he shook his head. “That is really, really not necessary! I have stage fright. Can't do it. No way.” Goro nervously smiled, Akira looking at him with nothing but compassion. “Both you and I know that's not true.” Akira smiled, Goro looking away from the ravenette seated across from him.

Well, Akira was right.

The aspect of being on stage didn't seem right to Goro- what would the fans think? Would they like him? Would they want him off stage? The thought of him either stealing or ruining Akira’s spotlight disgusted him- but he couldn't tell Akira he genuinely didn't want to go on stage without the musician saying he was lying.

“Maybe one day I’ll join you on stage. Since you wanna perform with me sooo bad,” Goro mocked, Akira lightly punching his shoulder. “You wish! I think you’d be a nice bass player,” Akira commented, eyeing Goro from top to bottom. “I’d rather die than be your bandmate.” The brunette scoffed, his fingers tapping on the table. 

-

The road to Hakone was a quiet one.

The _‘Getz/Gilberto’_ album, one of Goro’s personal favorites, was playing on the radio. Considering Akira had fallen asleep as soon as they got back to the camper van, he decided to put himself at peace with his own music after all that had happened to him that day. It was working- the gentle piano, the light percussion, and soft singing of the men behind the whole album all soothed him and his nerves. Genres like jazz and bossa nova were close to him- they always managed to put him at peace. 

To rely on music was childish- Goro always told himself that, and that’s what his coworkers and professors have always told him. Music, despite not knowing a whole lot about composition or lyricism, always put him in a better state of mind. He’s glad that Akira thinks the same way and was able to base his entire career off of music, because he’s able to see that music works for Akira the same way it does for Goro. Whenever he turns on his own music, or specifically this album, he doesn’t have to expect peace. It comes to him naturally.

What was not expected, though, was for the low singing from behind him.

Akira was loosely humming along to the melody on the radio, Goro lowering the volume. “You have a show tomorrow. You need to get rest.” Goro scolded, Akira’s eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Why’d you turn the music down? I like this song.” The ravenette murmured, Goro rolling his eyes in response. “You used to listen to this album every day in freshman year... it’s crazy hearing it again.” Akira sighed, the brunette turning the volume up very slightly. There was a brief moment of silence between the two, the music faint but Goro’s heartbeat loud. 

“Man, you really haven’t changed since high school,” Akira noted, Goro unsure of how to counter the musician’s statement. “The same can be said for you.” The brunette murmured, Akira sitting up on the pull-out mattress. “Remember when you called me at, like, nine in the morning? You were at the record shop because the worker told you they had finally gotten the ‘Getz/Gilberto’ album on vinyl, and you said you wanted me to get in on the action.” Akira chuckled as he thought about the past, Goro’s hands frozen on the steering wheel. 

“That was the only thing you listened to for a consecutive week.” Akira smiled, Goro trying to block out all the memories that came flooding back to him. “You might hate it, but who was the one who rode their skateboard to the opposite side of town just to listen to the album with me? I even dyed your hair while listening to this album. You have to admit, it’s pretty good.” Goro defended, Akira nodding in response. “I never said the album is bad, I’m just saying that it’s pretty important to you and I. That, and the fact that you’re still in love with it all these years later. Some things don’t change, you know?”

He hated how Akira was right. 

Some things don’t change. He looked at Akira, the moonlight from outside shining gently on his face as he hummed along to the song on the radio. Some habits don’t change, some mindsets don’t change, and some feelings don’t change. Goro was convinced that, following their breakup, he would move on entirely from Akira.

So why is it that he’s looking forward to the ravenette’s next concert? The way he sings and the confidence he holds- Goro feels his heart beat faster and faster the more he thinks about it, trying to block everything from out of his mind. His leg bounced out of anxiety, Akira opening his eyes and looking at Goro. 

“Are you okay, Akechi?”

Goro looked at Akira, unsure of what kind of response to give him.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to yell at me on twitter: ourllght
> 
> it only gets worse for goro from here on out, he starts catching f**lings.


End file.
